How to Apologise?

Pointing your finger at someone else is easy, but it is tough to check ourselves and own up to our mistakes. When it comes to apologising, it shouldn’t be just words; it should be from the heart, real, and with sincerity. At times, it can be difficult to apologise or admit our mistake to someone. In this article, we have given a few examples of how to apologise. Go through them for a better understanding.

Table of Contents

• Why Are We Bad at Apologising?
• Apologising Using Self-affirmation
• A Perfect Apology
• Frequently Asked Questions on How to Apologise

Why Are We Bad at Apologising?

We are bad at apologising because our ego takes over our emotions, and we do not want to feel bad about ourselves. Our mind is controlled by our pride and ego, which is why it becomes difficult to apologise for our mistakes. Sometimes, we do not get to know where we are wrong because of our ego, which is how we are blamed. We always intend to keep a good image of ourselves in front of everyone, and therefore, setting aside our egos is essential.

We might say, “Hey Harry, I am sorry. I know you are upset, but try to understand my situation. I had to communicate with you regarding this because it was creating a misunderstanding between us. I had to tell Popp about the game because he was asking me repeatedly about the same. I am really sorry, but I didn’t mean to hurt you with this. Hope you understand.”

This is a way of saying sorry to someone for something you have done. But this statement sounds more like a justification rather than an apology. Though it might sound like you are saying sorry, you are not.

People often fail to understand what an apology is. There is a thin line between an apology and an explanation for your mistake. Therefore, it is quite essential that you are careful with your choice of words when you are expressing your guilt. You might be sorry for whatever you have done, but you might also end up making your apology sound like a justification for your mistake due to inappropriate use of words.

Apologising Using Self-affirmation

It has been proved time and again that self-affirmation leads to better apologies. When we realise our own reality and how good we are or how true we are, we can be really good at apologising. The truth is that people who are less defensive tend to admit a mistake better when they apologise.

Saying a few encouraging words to yourself is the first step towards apologising. Consider what makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe you are great at your job, and everyone likes you. Perhaps your parenting abilities are exceptional, and your children are turning out to be fantastic. Before you apologise for whatever wrong you did, have a small talk with yourself about it, and make sure you think of your positive aspects too.

A Perfect Apology

You might already know that your mistake is not a long-term fault which will remain throughout your life. You have to realise that your mistake is a momentary lapse, and you can be sincere about it. When you get some free time, and when you are less likely to be interrupted, you can just think about the event and try to realise your faults. Along with that, think about your good aspects, and then you are all set to apologise. We have provided a few ways of apologising.

• Say you are sorry- Let the person know that you are really sorry. You can do this by simply saying, “I am sorry”. It should not be “I am sorry, but….”. Make it sound truly apologetic rather than making it a justification for your mistake.
• Take responsibility for the mistake- It is essential to show the other person that you are really guilty and that you take responsibility for the mistake that has happened.
• Explanation of what happened- You need to show that you understood what had happened and how hurtful it was to them. Rather than shifting blame, make sure you stay focused on your position.
• Finding a solution- Let the person know that you have planned to fix the problem and that you are really earnest about it.
• Admitting your fault- It takes a large heart to admit when someone does something wrong. However, as long as you do not let the issue affect your self-worth and self-respect, it is fine, and you can apologise with an open mind.
• Asking for forgiveness- You need to show that you mean what you say. The remorse that you show proves that you mean whatever you have said.

These are a few tips for a perfect apology. If you follow these tips, an apology will ideally sound like this:

“I am really sorry for the way I behaved in the room. I understand that I should not have interrupted in between. I know it must have been really hurtful to you. I would like to throw a party at my place and invite you all to it. I want to make up for what I did. Hope you will forgive me.”

The apology must be kept as simple as possible. Make sure not to blame anyone; no explanation of anything must be mentioned during apologising. Owning up to your mistakes or bad behaviour is not easy. It doesn’t necessarily have to be soul-crushing, especially if you build up your self-worth before you apologise.